What is authenticity and how do we become the most authentic versions of ourselves?

The more in touch with our authenticity we are, the more magnetic we become. If we are hesitant to show ourselves in our power, we may shy away from this magnetism so as not to draw attention.

I define authenticity as “The ability to truly and utterly be ourselves: speaking our truths, knowing our boundaries and feeling safe enough in the world to show others who we really are”. When we observe children, we see bright, energetic souls who have no problem asking for what they want and need at any given moment. They will fling out their arms when they want to be held, or they will cry when they've had enough. Whatever the protest, the point is they don’t consider how their demands may be received by the world. They make a request, and expect to receive.

Alongside the ability to assert themselves, children also possess this fascinatingly strong sense of self and confidence. You rarely catch small children looking over their shoulders to check if they are being judged before they break into dance to a good song. They don’t consider how they might appear to the outside world, nor do they toss and turn at night ruminating about it.

Why then, do we as adults really struggle to ask for what we need or want out of fear of not receiving? Where did we develop this hesitance around playing big and being seen? How did we learn to manage ourselves so profusely that we abandon that sense of childlike confidence and fearlessness?

Well to put it simply, conditioning. Whether it be nature or nurture, we are exposed to numerous situations throughout our lives that gradually eat away at our sense of self (otherwise known as our authenticity). These experiences shape our identities, our belief systems and the choices we make. They also influence how we view ourselves, and how worthy we feel we are of having what we want.

So how do we regain a sense of empowerment and reignite this innate confidence and trust in ourselves? The phrase “You can only love others to the extent that you love yourself” is a good place to start.

In an increasingly individualistic world, we are constantly seeking validation and instant gratification in external objects to satisfy our needs. As most of us eventually come to realise, the ‘happiness’ we

feel here tends to be short lived. Moments later, we are moving onto another shiny object for the next hit of dopamine. So in order to cultivate a true sense of love for oneself, the invitation here is to

go inwards. When I say inwards, I’m referring to the idea of looking at ourselves in more detail to consider how the narratives or identities we hold onto may be impacting our ability to be authentic.

Only once we begin to investigate ourselves and our emotional states can we uncover what is standing in the way of us feeling authentically confident. Our task is to address our wounding, and to

heal the parts of our psyche that feel insecure and unworthy. We must assess where we’re at, where we want to be and what is holding us back. We must tend to the parts of ourselves that feel afraid to be seen or that yearn for a sense of belonging. We must cultivate enough safety in our bodies to pluck up the courage to speak our truths and express our needs to others. As we unravel the conditioning and societal ideas that entangle us, we start to uncover our true core essence: the free spirited, confident, joyful beings we were born into the world as. The path is to re-learn how to love and see ourselves to the extent that we want to be loved and seen by the world. Only then can we truly regain the ability to shine authentically.

For more information on how to begin this journey of self discovery and healing, visit my website at www.hannahblackburn.com